i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I understand Curling. That high.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Randomize
