i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
