Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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