i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Rumble strips road head = magical
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize
