What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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