I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
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