Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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