if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
