This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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