A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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