My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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