there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Randomize
