Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
