this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Randomize
