isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Randomize
