if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Randomize
