If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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