So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
