i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
