Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
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