how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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