This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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