i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Randomize
