508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
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