I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Randomize
