Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
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