there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Randomize
