i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
My feet surprised me
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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