I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
