If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Randomize
