I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
