Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
