He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
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