are you so shy because you have an std?
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
