Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
