i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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