so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
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