I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Randomize
