I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Randomize
