my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Randomize
