she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
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