this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
Randomize
