and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
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