We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Randomize
