Who did Billy Mays play for?
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Randomize
