I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
