I have demons in me.
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
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