He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Randomize
