So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
