dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
