Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
